A door is closed.

For many of us we suffer of falling in to debt and unable to climb out of that hole. Everytime you make a dent in your debt, something happens and pushes you deeper or if you like me that you buy certain things over the years that later you think what in the world was  thinking and you ask yourself how did I get in so deep. So deep that you have no idea where all the money went too. As they say it’s easy to fail in to debt but its harder to become debt free

For some we luck enough to buounce back and I am glad to say I’m among them. Truthfully speaking its a lot of weight off my shoulders. If you have read my earlierposts you will know things haven’t been easy for me as my mother has been out of work which left me paying the bills and well 99% of my paycheck was going with in minutes and didnt leave me much to pay my debt of or have a life.

So finally I have something that will cheer me up and I can start having a life again. As to today I’m debt free, and I have plan to ensure that I dont make the same mistakes again. Now I know thats famous last words but I’m going to do my ultimate best to stay that way.

Least thats one chapter in my life that I can say is closed and locked. Now that other door of meeting some one which I have left open and also partly the cause of me falling in to debt with online dating sites. So for now I plan to close the door but not lock it. Basically what I’m saying is I looking but not looking. I’m done. I’m no longer the hunter. It is after all the 21 century. If she is ineterested then well time for her to step up and let me know. Everytime I fall for someone to a point that I would like to be with them I find out they either engaged, married, or already in a realtionship. And like I said I’be been on dating sites, the top 5 of sites available and nothing to show for. not even a date. Had hundreds of woman veiwing my profile but not even given the chance to get to know me. So yes That door is closed and if she whats me she’s welcoem to open the door. I’ve been single for 5 years now and well whats a few more years. startign to get use to the fact I’ll be on my own anyway.

So thats that, We will see what the future holds but for now. I’m goign to smile and enjoy the fact I dont ahve to worry abotu money any more.

Never be too trusting

Recently I become a victim of Extortion. What lead up this i’m not too proud of but we all human to a point and we make mistakes that we learn from. But ultimatly was all my fault and I pais for it.

I never really worried about this whole privacy thing on Facebook or other sites. I would use my real name to sign in on websites or use my name in a username. I’ve been told I’m too trusting and all this has finally bite me in the ass. So take it from me dont ever use your real name and be sure to your facebook is secure with privacy, cause with me been so lack this woman was about to gather not only information on me but my friends too and threatened to embaress me to my friends and my mothers friends.

I’m not going to go in to detail about what happened as well it private but still want to make you aware that nothing on the internet is private. Specially if you in contact with people around the world like apps like Wechat, KIK and probably a few others that allow you to build a friendship or relationship online. And due to me being so trusting, and fool I was balckmailed and lost a bit of money. and Believe me it never ends there as she came back for more. But I sucked up my embaressment and not paid and face what ever she plans to do.

So this was a warning for me and be a warning to you nothign is secure so please look at your privacy settings and be creative with your usernames.

Can you believe it

Well guys did stupid things for love or to find love. We say never again and then a woman flashes us a smile and we are seduced to make the same mistakes over again. And of course we hear from friends and family, “will you ever learn” and you know what as a society no we will never learn.

So heres a brief update and conclusion to my earlier blog. So As you know I was lead to believe that my ex wanted me back and then she disappeared on me. Well two weeks went by with not a message of that she was ok, nothing. Then out of the blue she messages me that I hurt with my message saying,  “I was hurt and never text me again as you a tease blah blah . you get the picture. Naturally i wasn’t happy, dont think any guy or woman would be. To be lead on and then for no fault of your own disappears with out a reason.

Anyway against my better judgement we exchanged words, in the beginning it was angry words. I asked her why she didn’t text me, she replies oh I was busy….really, I can understand at work, but how about during lunch or when you get home. Remember this is the same girl that has message me in the past at 3am cause she woke up and had to pee. And in the past we have texted in the morning while getting ready for work and during lunch. hell we even used to text at night to a point she would fall asleep.  lol no my text didn’t put her to sleep . So I replied to her it takes 2 seconds to text I’m busy. at which point she tell me I’m an asshole and not the guy she dated. blah blah blah. well the end of the night she tell me that her world doesn’t revolve around her and fuck off.And that how the night end. I get she was angry and I apologized to her (which I dont know why, as I did’t do anything wrong) after all I probably could have handled it a bit differently.

So the night end and slept. The following day she message me at lunch and this time it was a bit more civilized. But after talking with friends at work who know the situation and my mother, they all agree that I should end this and forget about her as I could do far better . And they reminded me that she has hurt me twice before and also reminded me how much f a mess I was the previous week. So I deleted her number and thats that. Well that night she message me, ignored it. Two days later she message me again, with are you ok. ignored that too. give her a taste of her own medicine. And what now she is concerned. please….

So I think that chapter is closed and I will not reopen it. There is no future with her and its time I face it.

Stupidity

Well seems this donkey just kicked that same stone again and I swear it’ll this will never happened again.

As you well know my Ex got in touch with me last week and mentioned in a text that she was single. At first I wasn’t planning on replying as before to was leading me on while still with her boyfriend of three years. But you can read about all that in my earlier post and this is not what this post is about.

Against my better judgement I decided on messaging her. We chatted for for the better part of the day and we got in to her break up. This jackass that she was dating broke up with her after three years due to the fact that did not share the same things in common. Pathetic I know but here comes the kicker of it all he broke up with her via text and when she asked my not do this in person and replies with he didn’t want to drive out of his way to her place and not to mention all this happened shortly after Valentines Day. She told me she was pretty broken up by it all and she was over him and have no intention of ever going back to him.

Over the never few days we chatted and even got on the tpoic of the two of us together again which at this point i was all for and well I still have or should say had feeling for her. So saturday night we talked on the phone till midnight and all was great, or so I thought.

I hadn’t heard from her at all for the whole of Sunday so after dinner I mesage her asking if she was ok. No reply. Monday night I messaged her again and still nothing. This was very much unlike her as in the past she always replied and if she was asleep she would reply when she wakes up. She has even replied to me at times when she wakes up in the early hours of the morning when she had to use the washroom. So it wasn’t in her nature not to reply. I never gave her a reason while we chatted to be angry with me so this was very strange. So Wednesday I messaged her again and still nothing.

So I have came to the conclusion she has or had no intentintion of getting back with me or even be friends. I’ve came to the conclusion that she was hurting and was looking to act on revenge and since I was an easy target and knew I had feelings for her that I was a prime target to make me feel the kind of hurt she went through.

Well I dont really care what her excuse or reasoning behind all this was, cause as of now this donkey is dont kicking that stone. I will not stoop so low again and reply to her. As of today we are done. period.

How desprite do you think I am

Anyone that’s read any of my earlier posts will know that my luck with woman is well non-existent and also my expedience with one of my ex’s. I’m not going to get in to it again.

But basically we broke it off (mutual agreement) 3 years ago and shortly after she met someone else. I chose to ignore her requests to chat from time to time and three years late, they still together and I was still single. As a sign of weakness on my part I replied to a text she sent last year and we messaged for a while, bring up all repressed feelings I had for her. Anyhow even though she was “in love” with this guy and after three years they have yet to have moved in together and only see each other on weekends. Well to me that’s no relationship. Either way in our messages she made it seem we had a chance till one day I had enough as it was emotionally hurting me and so I blocked her on my facebook.

So 4 months later out of the blue I get a text on my phone asking how am I and that she’s single now. I have a pretty good idea who it is and how desperate she think I am, as if now I’m going to forget her leading me on and go back to her. Not a chance. I may be single and probably will never date again, but hell no will I just settle.

I hate being lead on to believe one things and then like taking a carrot away from a donkey it just not right. Just pisses me off to think woman find it ok to lead guys on. ok give I’m sure men do the same.

Well since I have no one offline to tell this, I had to put this in a blog to release this frustration. phew feels better.

Vent for the week

Never amazes me how much people can get away with things when they do enough kissing up or to rough put who they blow in the office.

There are enough people in this world who would like nothing better to have a job and have something stable so they get have a better life or even people who have jobs and give 100% each day but when it comes to some form of regocnition like a raise or promotion, they get passed up each year.

Yet there are some people in this world that by building a close friendship with the boss, they feel it’s right to play with thier job and give no consideration with the other team members.

It’s one thing calling in sick from time to time but calling in sick almost every week and more time than most on a monday or friday, no doubt probably suffering from a hangover is just pathetic. What angers me most is these people get the regonition for a job well done and get the underserved raise.

Up to me I’d fire the bitch.

Friend zone….

So I guess there is a fine line when it comes to liking someone and becoming that poor sap who falls in that friends zone category. How exactly can that be avoided, how can you tell???

So a few weeks back I began a texting this girl that showed some interest in me. Cute girl and easy to talk to. We so far been messaging each other for a couple of days now. Ordinarily I would have mentioned to her about having coffee sometime or catch a movie. But at some point we came to talking about our current situation and she brought up that she doesn’t date cause the fact she works quite late during the week and seeing someone only on weekends is not the ideal situation for a new relationship.

Now some ways I can understand that, though that doesn’t mean you have to live your life alone. If that was the case most people in the legal and medical industry would be single. I say you make it work regardless. So I figured I keep messaging her build a friendship, give her the chance to get to know me and if her job situation changes that maybe we would give things a try.

But now here comes the kicker, last night she mentions to me that last weekend she went out with a guy, I’m cool with that after all we were not dating, and along with our conversation that night she hints to me by using a scene from Friends, about the friend zone. At which point I ask her if that’s possibly how she see me. Now I can see why she would say that, as we have been chatting for a while and haven’t yet met, but on the other hand she told me she wasn’t dating. lol all very confusing.

Now you probably thinking I should have asked her out anyway, and you right I should have but I wanted her to feel comfortable and I was been respectful of her feelings, plus wanted to show her the kind of guy I am. That way she can decided if she wants to meet up and not. And at least our time isn’t wasted.

lol so seems I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Guess maybe some people are just meant to be alone.

Whats wrong with society

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